Well, do you believe you deserve better, or not? If you do, then you start acting like it and stop accepting what she's dishing out
I can't compel W to stop A
That's right you can't because its her choice either you like it or not.
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I can completely starve her financially until she quits A and commits to M. Any ideas how this might play out? It's very controlling, but forces a stark choice (until she gets a job.)
Hmmm, aggressive thinking, I understand your pain...one day you will read this sentence and laugh about it, you can also hire a hitman and end with the affair... Will that help? No Kill yourself will help? No Accepting her decision will help? Terribly, because if you accept her choice one day your choices will be accepted as well, again you are not right or wrong, you are just not accepting her choice, that it's not going to help your M neither yourself.
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I can file myself, but she knows that's a bluff. Unless, of course, it isn't (which I won't know myself until more time passes)
Again, you have many choices, If I might I will suggest you the easiest one at this point, follow Sandy rules for 60 days straight and after those 60 days let us know what your choice is.
Relationships are not science or math where you follow principles and formulas, imagine this, you want your W to be with you so you build this glass prison and throw her inside untill she realizes how bad she has behaved... 2 months later she kills herself and you definitely have lost the chance to be with her, then what you do?
Now you can let her have an A or as many as she wants and you can set boundaries to yourself not to get hurt more (sandy rules) then maybe and this is not guaranteed either maybe then she will come back because you are the only person alive accepting her choices.
Out there, many beautiful man, funny rich, sexual machines and other conditions exists but how many of those accept themselves and better than that accept other people just for the fact that they are human beings? Well not many, that's why relationships keep failing, what if you accept everything the way it is while setting boundaries for yourself? Hmmm then maybe your W will find you attractive again.
When we start a relationship we accept ourselves completely and our partner, only time deviates us from acceptance and then it's when people start to look for other choices, let her choose without judging and see what happens, only that way your chances will grow.
So ye21 appears to be following Sandi's rules - accept what is, don't pursue what you don't control, give W space, see if W comes back. Re-evaluate 60 days hence.
