Everything has still been pretty good as far as her and I getting along. Been working on some home & upcycling projects with her; she has been very receptive to my input and ideas.
She had a therapist appt last Thursday; she said it went "really well". Therapist text me later that afternoon. Told me I "had nothing to worry about" and she wanted to see me this Thursday and then would arrange for our next MC session the following week or two.
Saturday night was eventful. D10 spent the night with a friend so wife asked if we could go to dinner & some drinks (she beat me to the punch, but that's ok).
On the way there, I noticed it appeared she was holding back some tears. I asked her if she was OK? She said she was, but I could tell she was upset. A little bit later she stated she was still unhappy. I validated; understood she felt that way and was there anything she wanted to talk about or could I help. She said she was scared that she was just setting herself up for another 20 years of the same. I asked her if she meant that things would slip back into old/bad habits the way they were before. She said Yes. I validated; understood she was afraid of that and didn't blame her for those thoughts. I assured her things would not be that way again, but, to take her time and process everything at her pace; my feelings have not changed and I would support her however she needed but continue to give space as required.
Dinner was good; went to local establishment for some drinks. Not a lot of conversation and I could tell she was in deep thought (she wasn't even on her iPhone that much which is a switch). I just let her have her thoughts with a bit of small talk here and there.
We got home and went to bed to watch some TV. I was dozing a bit when I got a couple of little nudges from her which is her way for indicating she wants some attention / intimacy. I asked if she was feeling a little frisky and got that coy, bashful look with a "I don't know...maybe..."! I put my arms around and snuggled her a bit and she looked me in the eyes, got serious and said "I really want to, but I don't want to blur any lines. I enjoy sex with you and you are the only man I want to have sex with but, things aren't "fixed" yet and it's not fair for you when there aren't feelings attached to it". I was kind of surprised by this but she seemed very genuine and sincere about it. I decided to take it face value and her being up front. I told her I was still her husband and she was my wife; irrelevant of her "feelings" we were obviously still a comfort for each other so it was no issue and I would accept and enjoy it with her with no other expectations. We ML and snuggled after and went to sleep.
Yesterday (Sunday) I encouraged her to get out with her friend to check out a shopping area they had been discussing; got her out the door by 930 am which left me free to finish some projects while D10 was out playing with friends. Wife got home within a couple hours; said the place wasn't what it was cracked up to me but shared her experience and details. She stated she needed to go get a few things and she needed to get back out because her "mind was racing". I could tell she was in thought again. I just told her to go do what she needed but try to slow her mind and be careful while she was out. She said she would, thanked & kissed me, and went on her way. She was in a much better mood when she came back a couple hours later and we actually had a good evening together; I fixed dinner and we talked about various things going on with each other. She didn't get to sleep until well after midnight. I had to get up and let the dogs out; asked why she was still up....she said she just couldn't sleep. I said ok and let it go. Once I came back up and laid back down, she scooted next to me and went to sleep.
This morning, she was in a good mood and talkative; good kiss when she went out the door. Been texting me on and off all day!
I really try not to analyze anything anymore; just be upbeat and go with the flow, GAL. She appears to be getting warm again as I expected; think maybe the therapist gave her something to think about. With her acknowledging being afraid things will slip back to old / bad habits and the mental processing she has been doing the last 48 hours looks like she might be in some decision-making mode.
Who knows; I am sure I'll know soon enough!
Azagtoth
Me: 44 X WAW/MLC: 42 Kids: S21, D11 BD: July 2013 (ILYBNILWY) EAx2: Busted 1 OCT 2013; 25 Mar 2014 Status: Divorcing & Done! Waiting to be final (Nov 2014?) & glad it's finally over!
