"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
The co-dependency stuff is right on and an evil bear.....But it can be overcome. Then one day your whole mindset changes...the flowers are brighter....The sun is warmer...and you have reach independent nirvana...It is actually a coll feeling once you get there.
Cat- It is good to be back....Granted it took some people to pull out of my hermitage to finding DB zen, but it was getting cold sitting on top of a mountain meditating anyways. I really was disliking that not talking things also....Those dang DB monks kept beating me with sticks every time I talked LOL
Thanks Eric and LFW! I imagine that there are a lot of us that have co-dependency tendencies here!
Had a wonderful weekend visiting my BFF and brother and his family! My BFF thinks I should move back home! While I would LOVE to be closer to her and my brother, I am not sure if I would want to do that! I went out for a couple of drinks with BFF and her son and saw a few familiar faces. However, these were the same faces that have been going to this bar for the last 30years only they looked a lot older and a lot rougher! How sad to see that they are still doing the same thing after all these years! Anyway, still had a great time! It was like a little vacation from myself!
BD-Aug 2009 OW Confirmed H moves out Dec 2009 D filed by H-Mar 2010 H asks to come home April 2011 BD AGAIN 1-15-2014! H seeing FOW! H ran away again! 1-18-2014
Yesterday was a gorgeous day...a little windy but warm! It was so refreshing and really brought about good feelings about what's to come! In church, I felt like the minister was speaking to me personally with the message he was delivering! Thought about what I wanted to write here on the drive home!
Got home and my neighbors were outside. He offered my S and job helping him in his shop...said he had lots to keep him busy! Am sure S will learn lots from him! Again that feeling of hope rose in me! I felt like I was walking on air!
So, what I got from the service yesterday was this... He was talking about accepting Jesus into our lives. That some of us "think" we are accepting Him but that we are not really if we are hanging on to the past. If we are still living our old lives then we have not really accepted Him.
This can be compared to all of our situations. We have to accept where we are now in order to move forward. As long as we hang on to the past, we will not be able to see and experience what possibilities the future has to offer! The old saying "do as you've always done, get what you've always got" comes to mind!
He also spoke of ministering to others outside of church and you all immediately came to my mind! Those of you who to take the time to read all of our sitches and write encouraging or helpful words or even sending a hug if there are no words are ministering to others! Thank you!
I am not an eloquent writer and this all sounded so much better in my head driving home yesterday...I hope that it came out ok!
Sending hugs out there to all who need one!
BD-Aug 2009 OW Confirmed H moves out Dec 2009 D filed by H-Mar 2010 H asks to come home April 2011 BD AGAIN 1-15-2014! H seeing FOW! H ran away again! 1-18-2014
I wasn't going to post this but thought I would just to share how MLC and depression can affect someone...
Apparently, OW has a male co-worker staying with her also. He is apparently down on his luck right now, had attempted suicide and was staying with her for awhile before H moved in with her. I guess he went out and got totally drunk last night and was making a lot of noise when he came in. H got up and asked him to be quiet...told him to go sleep it off as his kids were there and people were trying to sleep. I guess this guy got upset and started yelling at H...anyway, it got physical. H is not one to back down from a fight if there is to be one but has not been in a fight for many, many years.
According to what H told S, this guy was repeatedly trying to punch him in his "tenders" while H had him pinned down so H punched him in the head...not once, but several times. The police were called and the guy was taken to the hospital. Apparently, the bone around his eye socket is broken. S saw this.
Kids came home early because H and OW went to pick this guy up from the hospital. This guy doesn't remember how/why he was in the hospital. H told S that he is sorry for what happened to the guy but that if this guy continues to stay there, H will be looking for another place to live.
I am not surprised that it became physical, I am surprised that H kept pounding on him. This guy is 34 and was in the Marines. I guess he has also lost a set of twins that dies shortly after their birth so he obviously has some issues himself.
The kids are ok...I am not sure I want them going back there if that guy is still living there.
Just a little horrified at the apparent rage H was showing to repeatedly hit someone like that.
BD-Aug 2009 OW Confirmed H moves out Dec 2009 D filed by H-Mar 2010 H asks to come home April 2011 BD AGAIN 1-15-2014! H seeing FOW! H ran away again! 1-18-2014
So, what I got from the service yesterday was this... He was talking about accepting Jesus into our lives. That some of us "think" we are accepting Him but that we are not really if we are hanging on to the past. If we are still living our old lives then we have not really accepted Him.
This can be compared to all of our situations. We have to accept where we are now in order to move forward. As long as we hang on to the past, we will not be able to see and experience what possibilities the future has to offer! The old saying "do as you've always done, get what you've always got" comes to mind!
He also spoke of ministering to others outside of church and you all immediately came to my mind! Those of you who to take the time to read all of our sitches and write encouraging or helpful words or even sending a hug if there are no words are ministering to others! Thank you!
I am not an eloquent writer and this all sounded so much better in my head driving home yesterday...I hope that it came out ok!
Sending hugs out there to all who need one!
Thank you so much for this post! so many have offered comfort here and it helps so much. I agree about letting go of the past. It can be pretty hard to do but you do have to do so to move forward, sounds like a beautiful sermon! Thank you for sharing it!
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
I have an update...got a text from H asking if the kids told me what happened and if he would stop by...
He told his side of the situation...said the guy deserved it. Then told me about the guys injuries...said he is going to have to have reconstructive surgery. I asked H "did he DESERVE that?" He said no, that he probably went a little ballistic. Got a ticket for assault. Supposedly he and this guy have apologized to each other but I am wondering what will happen?
And yes, this guy is the one that OW was involved with. H volunteered that info. Anyone think that may have had something to do with the beating he got? Also, when this guy was egging H on, he must have been saying things about how H is living his life which also made him mad. He didn't say what the guy said but said that he already knows how he is living his life and he doesn't need someone else, especially this guy, telling him that....
He said that if this guy doesn't go then he will...it is too weird of a situation already. I just listened to him and then said that I was not comfortable with the kids going there if that guy is still there and the possibility of this could happen again. He said he was glad that I said that as he felt the same and that he would come here or take them out etc and bring them home afterward.
I have to say that I am glad that he accepted that without any argument. He is very sorry that the kids had to see that. I am having a hard to believing that he allowed this guy to move in in the first place knowing that he and OW had dated. This guy could easily press charges against H. He might need money paying his medical bills. I have a feeling this thing is going to get bigger and worse before it gets better.
I have wondered what it would take for H to hit his rock bottom. I have prayed for it to happen. I don't know if this is it or not and I would say break out the popcorn and enjoy the show but there is nothing about this to enjoy....it is all so so sad.
BD-Aug 2009 OW Confirmed H moves out Dec 2009 D filed by H-Mar 2010 H asks to come home April 2011 BD AGAIN 1-15-2014! H seeing FOW! H ran away again! 1-18-2014
I got an email yesterday, and didn't check until late...
Ya know, I cut the end of my right middle finger yesterday, and in a blue collar world, that means very little....
In a white collar world ?
Every time I type this morning, my finger feels like it is gonna explode....
: )
And yea, I know....
Excuses huh ??
I WILL get back to ya though...(although is will not be an Epicmsant2 novel) : )
Sorry about your finder Mach! Looking forward to hearing from you!
BD-Aug 2009 OW Confirmed H moves out Dec 2009 D filed by H-Mar 2010 H asks to come home April 2011 BD AGAIN 1-15-2014! H seeing FOW! H ran away again! 1-18-2014
I have wondered what it would take for H to hit his rock bottom.
Watching and wondering.....well you know what that does. Right?
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
