I agree with everyone that you are being way too nice. I know that it is hard, but your W is steam rolling you. Your W is not attempting to negotiate (with or without Ls). She is dictating everything. Based upon her emails, she has NO INTENTION of agreeing to 50/50 custody or anything close. Heck, she wont even discuss it.
I think that she needs to hear a dose of reality from a third party (i.e. her L or your L - not you or her parents). Until someone else sets her straight, I dont think there is any hope that you will get anywhere with your W on the custody issue.
Look at all the time that has passed since she left. You continue to send these nice emails to her asking permission but then continue to listen to her terms. I am worried that the longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to get 50/50. When I spoke with a L, the L confirmed that the time between S and D are very big in terms of setting a precedent. Yes, she took the kids away without your permission. However, FIVE months have passed and you have done nothing about it. You need to start protecting yourself. Your W is going to say that you don't care about the kids and that you did not even fight for them and were "fine" not only seeing them every few weeks. I am sure that she is documenting the number of hours that you spend with the kids. And if she presents that to a judge, it is not going to look good.
