melissa

[25yearsmlc]

It's one thing to say what he did, which wasn't unreasonable at all, it was fine.

But it's another thing to forget the context of his words.

The 2 words that came to me first, were "ironic" and "hypocritical."

So I'm assuming that is where your emotional reaction is based. It's where mine would be. Not that it helps, but I'm saying "wow, I get it Melissa, I really do."

Where does that leave you?

Choices: dig in your heels and insist she NOT go, which means he "wins" b/c it "proves" you have not changed your evil ways.

OR you compromise, (whatever that means), but it should at least mean YOU don't shoulder the physical logistical ramifications of HIS decision.

Dear God, why hasn't he volunteered to drive himself by now? Or at least get her there at 6:30 am.

You have your son to care for and do not want to drive her at that time. Let alone drive for 4 hours...

OR you totally give in, AND YOU and the kids bear the consequences of HIS choices (again, I might add).

I mean, what's new, given his choice to leave and stay away at his "Dad's Mad Pad"...(um, no, you don't have to say that last part.... )


At some point I'd use the words of his to ask what he thinks they'll believe about "overcoming adversity" within a R, like a m, by his choice to leave and split the family??

It won't bring you closer to him, but it might get him to see how he hurts his own kids...or not.
He must know he glossed over his role in their present/soon to come adversities. Is he training her to get ready for all the coming disappointments he'll heap into her life? How thoughtful.

But it's not as if your d won't ever think of that. I cannot stress to you though, that kids do, in time, "get it".

The truth will be revealed but it's so much better for your R with them, if you are not the messenger of that truth. Make sense?

Oh, and ftr, I don't think she'll be "harmed" by going. Not if you present it in the best light.
And if you have to send her in the end, you do need to make the best of it. Even if it means your h says "I TOLD YOU SO," later on, which I believe he will...but that is b/c this is about HER, and not about winning...


There's nothing wrong with you saying some of the things to him, that you said here. Presented in the same way he presented his, but without
the gratuitously insulting comments he made, which served no purpose. Those hinder good communication. Period. Yes you can call him on that. B/c he framed it in a way that you cannot come out as an equal partner here. I mean in the context of this situation, he framed it in a way that is very coercive.

However, Melissa, Is this really an issue you want to fall on your sword for? Think about it. Do not succumb to the "it's unfair!" We all know that.

But know that whatever he writes in these texts, he might be saving. Be careful how you word things.

Do so with the understanding that it might be read by a judge later on...

GOOD LUCK!