Need help saving my family - part 4

[Breakdown]

You might want to talk with 1 to 2 lawyers for a second opinion...particularly family law/child custody arrangements.

Totally agree with this. Huge difference between a good family attorney and a crappy one....make sure you're getting good advice.

Her opinion was that if I file for D and start a battle over custody of our kids that for sure the relationship with my W will have been so soured that we could not co-parent at all.

I think the relationship is already pretty sour....don't you? The mindset here is important. You aren't out to hurt her or punish her....you are fighting for your ability to parent your children for the foreseeable future. That is it. It isn't about your W at all....it's about you and your children.

Over time, that trend could continue if I keep things as friendly as possible.

It could....or this may be the best it gets. Or it could get worse. Are you willing to gamble on it?

Right now, it looks to me like your W is steamrolling you. And while she may not like you standing up to her and fighting for time with your kids, she will respect you for it.

Am a crazy to think that given enough time (a year or two) that my W and I could still R?

I don't think it's crazy, but I really wouldn't be worrying about it right now. It's just going to get you sideways. Focus on your reality....what you want for you and your kids.