Need help saving my family - part 4

[melissag]

Scorp, you can take what I say with a grain of salt, since I am not feeling much hope these days. But if I were you, I would STOP focusing on the R with your W and do what you need to do to save the R with your kids. I think it would be a horrible mistake to let your R with your kids go in order to pacify your W so that she might someday want to R with you.

I hear you saying that you want to keep a good R with her so you can co-parent, but I'm not sure I buy it. I think that you really want the good R with her so you can have hope of repairing the M. I agree that it would be nice to be able to coparent amicably, but she is not into that, Scorp. She isn't even giving you the right to PARENT at all. She is making all the decisions for your kids - when they see you, where they live, what school they go to. Am I misremembering, or was it your W who, after finally "letting" you see them for a weekend, told you what they may and may not do? (No water slides, etc.)

You are so far away from any kind of amicable co-parenting R with this woman that you can't even see it on the horizon on a clear day.

I know you don't want to have lawyers. I know that you don't want to be at odds with your W. But you need to live your life and make your decisions based on your reality. Your reality is that, right now, your W does NOT want to be M to you. She doesn't even want to be friends with you. I mean, for crying out loud, she won't even let you email her directly! You are not getting enough time with your kids.

I know it SVCKS that your future isn't what you thought it was, and that you are at odds with your W, and that you may have to have lawyers involved in this mess. But don't make it svck even more by losing your R with your kids too. Please.