own buz 23:mediation to reconcilliation, PATIENCE!

[KenF]

MrBond: His confusion, his issues, his mlc are about him and not about you.

Me: Your confusion and your issues and your responsibilities are about you.


i dont care about him or what he does. i cant control it, change it, fix it. and neither can you. all you can do is muddy the waters - as your past experiences are showing you. most advice that i give is to stop analyzing what he's doing, i say ignore it completely because theres no middle ground with you. MrBond is more lenient, he says listen, give him space, but dont try to control.

and to clarify, by ignore i dont mean pretend he doesnt exist. i mean dont worry about what he's doing, dont analyze and discuss and postulate. dont look for deeper meaning to coffee.


any time you ask questions of more than one person you'll get more than one answer. and when you keep asking questions saying you dont understand, people will try to reword and this opens the conversation for more conflicting statements. and everyone sees what they see based on their own experiences.


you're inconsistent. you push in one situation, then next day you post that you pulled back in another situation, and then cant understand why it didnt have the desired effect. the problem wasnt the specific action in that specific situation, the problem is consistency.

you need to strive for consistency always. doing it right once does not mean you've changed. it only means you stopped yourself once. if you do it again, you've undone any changes your x may have seen. and in doing so, you're letting him know he cant rely on your changes.