WAW has been very angry towards me the last few days and it comes through in her voice and body language. Maybe its the stress of her moving out, and the true realization things are going to be very different for us and more importantly the boys. IDK. Nothing I say or do comes out right. I could have the best intention, speak with a soft voice, use eye contact, truly listen but somehow the conversation gets turned around. I try validating, but there also comes a point I must defend myself for False or "Hypothetical Accusation" she will throw at me. (yes I said Hypothetical accusations) She has done this our entire M. She will take a possible event (usually something pertaining to the boys) and throw out doubts about my ability to handle the "said" situation. I noticed that if its not "her" way its the wrong way.
Think about this for a minute, and think about hos many years that your words came across the exact same way to her...
Think about how her actions are backing her words, and how even though you may see tings in a different perspective, your past actions and words reflected the SAME thing to her over the years....
Think about how YOUR words and actions control every single interaction that you have now, and in the past, and try to narrow down the actions and behavioral patterns that YOU are uncomfortable with....
And while it is incredibly helpful for you to point out her "mis-truths"....
Like it or not, that is HER truth, and HER memories of past events...
And it doesn't make them right or wrong, it just makes them hers...
Same as you have your version of the truth. Typically, what is real truth will meet somewhere in the middle of the two.
Most people that I have met, often mis-interpret this basic human instinct...
I don't have to be right or wrong, and I am not trying to be right or wrong, although I do want MY opinion to be heard...
Are you trying to be right ???
Is it more important to be right ??
Are you allowing her to be heard ???
One of my favorite old sayings is...
Seek to understand, and then you will be understood....
