melissa

[tbm4evr]

Hi melissa,

I did not read all your posts. But I sure wish you well. Sounds like your H needs help. My father was a narcissist. My wife said I was one too. My W and family are everything to me and i tried to control them with my mind telling me that how i was trying to control them was best for them ..my W felt I was needy and it was to feed my ego..i know just screwed up. My behaviour escalated to the point where she couldnt take it anymore and hence her D filing. I did see a psychiatrist and he said i was more codependent with some narcissistic control patterns because my father controlled me and made me always do what he wanted. If your H is a true narcissist he probably will think he doesn't have any issues. Many say true narcissists can't be cured and I probably would agree because they think they are fine. If I could not get my behavioral control patterns in check I would not want to be married to me either. I know I have (like to think "had" but something you always work on) behavioral issues. I attend Co dependents Anonymous (CoDa) meetings and Adult Children of Dysfunctional Family meetings. The support from these meetings helps me focus to change my unhealthy control patterns, etc. I now tell myself all the time that I will not be needy and dependent on others. Again, I have not read your posts so I don't know what you are looking for in your relationship with H. I'm just changing for me and whether my W comes back or not I know I will be a better person for it and I am grateful that my W led me to finally find my true self.