wife hardens heart-7

[planet]

Last friday, I texted XW via 'WhatsApp' of my intention of taking the domestic help and my kids out for dinner. Her contract is due and will be leaving soon. I'm doing this with the intention of showing gratitude for her services for the family.

I really don't understand why I would even think XW would be ok with this. XW of course said no and says she's busy for the weekend.

I said you already took the kids for the last two weekends. I reasoned with her to be fair.

She even repeated ' We r not free' 8 times. Childish.

She went on saying that she needs to attend seminars, company dinner, conventions and sponsored holidays the whole month of march and she needs to spend time with the kids too.
My request is not unreasonable. I said i'm taking saturday evening and she can have sunday.

She's ignoring the reason which is very valid.


Come Saturday, I went over to XW's anyway, only to find XW took the kids away. I called her and she went on spewing and hung up.

She started of by saying that I never paid anything for the domestic help's services and even disagreed on hiring her. That is true and she conveniently excluded the fact I contributed my entire salary for household needs. I know she is arguing based on nothing. I took this no further.

She even said why I gave presents from my brother to the kids when she said no gifts from my family. Ridiculous.

I asked about the kids then. She said they are already out. Mind reading but I think my suggestion on taking the maid for dinner might have triggered this episode.

Hereon, it's all via 'Whatsapp'.

Then she went on saying that I come every day on weekdays and she don't have time with them. Saying that I took the kids out without her consent on wednesday which I did informed her.

Went on saying she will be away for 20days and asked for my understanding on her needs as well. I replied why should I sacrifice my time.

She went on the argue that she's never stop me from seeing my kids on weekdays. Rushing to adapt to my time. Getting them ready for me. I replied I appreciate her kindness and never said you are wrong but this had nothing to do with me wanting to spend time with my kids. Further more, we set the time for me to send them back home. Rushing? C'mon. If she feels this ways then say something.

She went further to asked why I'm not happy for the kids being with her and that I'm selfish I said I never said they are not happy and don't put words in my mouth. How is it I'm selfish?

She said I'm giving her problems and she had to include me in her schedule. The kids complaint that they are hungry after they come home. That is not valid. I fed them until they are truly done at that point of time. I always ask my kids if they are hungry!

She again complain that I come everyday leaving her no time with the kids. I spend an hour with them. She had the rest of the night. She said that I leave with a mess of toys, they need baths and have meals after I leave. That is so ridiculous. I mean they have their baths and meals during MY time. I'm not saying it's all the time but most of it. I don't complain but i volunteer to feed them. That is joy. I always advise the kids to clean up. I will supervise them the next time since XW is not happy about it. BTW, the maid said that she cleans up after them all the time. I'm pretty sure that includes the days when I'm not around!

She said that I'm difficult to talk to and challenged me to take the maid out to prove my sincerity without the kids. I refused and I requested some other day to do it with the kids. Again, she refused. She's not going to allow the maid to have dinner with me with or without the kids.

She went on to bring up LOTS past hurts. I validated.
I admitted I was insensitive with my words back then. I have never deny anything and added that some events is not how I remembered it. She of course are having none of it.


Her complaints are nothing new. Mostly based on single incidents. She's repeating all of it as if it happened multiple times.

I will allow this to BREAK me. I'm good.