3boyz, I was curious about your boundary because of this:

Quote:
It is just so hard to walk this line between co-parents and friends.


I am struggling with this at the moment, too, but have gone the opposite direction of you. I speak with H only about the necessary things and see him only at the necessary times. I ignore his banter, his lashing out, and basically anything that would make him think we are friends.

But I think I am mad.

But if I am not mad, and I allow myself to relax and have fun with him, then I am friends with him. Or at the very least, I am possibly buying another ticket to his crazy ride.

Quote:
When I see my H, it no longer builds up my expectations. I realized at the beginning of 2014 that H was really done and has not plans of returning home right now or anytime soon.


Do you think you have expectations about him coming home eventually?

I mean, I was starting to feel somewhat detached from my H, but then, when he wanted to push forward with D, I realized that was because I was still holding out hope he would come back.

I guess I don't know how to separate hope and expectations.

I will be interested to hear what your DB coach has to say!

That's great that your H is starting to become more responsible for some things.

How do you feel about him asking to postpone the trip? Does that indicate to you that he still thinks he might want to take that trip with you at some point?

me: 44 XH: 42
M 11 years
D10 and S8
Bomb drop 9/27/13
D final 7/1/14