W told me about a dream she had last night, where she was running from death. She was in a huge open park, with mountains off in the distance. There was a landslide, and the mountains started to crumble down. Then large volumes of water started to flood the area. Everyone knew they were going to die.
W ran, with others, to try to get to safety. She came across a pay phone and picked it up. The person on the other end told her there was one air ticket left to get out of the area, and she could have it if she made it there in time. She struggled to get there before it was too late. On the way, she seen an old man sitting calmly on a bench, with full knowing of his impending fate. She pondered his calm acceptance that this would be the end of his life.
W made it to the airport, secured the last ticket, and prepared to board the plane even as she struggled with the knowledge that the others who were with her would almost certainly be killed.
So, it would seem that contrary to W’s occasional comments of wanting to end it all, she really does want to live. Even though she won't admit it, I’m thinking at least part of the reason is wonderful me.
When she finished telling me her dream, I told her of the one I had recently of driving her to the bus station, on a forklift, with a pallet load of her stuff. I posted the details of this dream earlier.
When finished, I jokingly asked W if she hadn't recently bought any bus tickets. She said no, and interestingly added “But you’ll probably be packing up my stuff when I’m out today!” also stated in a joking manner.
After this she got kinda quiet. Maybe pondering that a life without me is a possibility, and not liking it? Bust On, you all!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
