SID - thanks. There are days I really wish I could force my heart closed and stop caring one way or the other. I just can't....no more so than someone can force it open. Over the time that this has been going on, I have really learned from the folks here and others that XW does, in fact, have her work to do and thus far she hasn't really dug into herself to do it. I tend to believe that she has surrounded herself with folks (family and otherwise) that tell her that there really isn't any work for her to do and that things just "happen". And I know that her dad tells her that the only reason I want to fix things is so I don't have to pay alimony and child support....and that message resonates with her I'm sure. Even though nothing could be farther from the truth. Honestly, in my weaker moments I can't even begin to tell you how much that makes me mad....and, honestly, hurts my feelings that someone would think that lowly of me. No matter - nothing I can do.
GM - At this point you should know that little to nothing here really rattles me much on this board....even being called a reformed narcissistic prick . I would take her "as is", but it would be "as is" while we go get help and try to work through things. I am now 100% of the belief that each party has to hit that one wall where you realize it's you and not the other person as much as you think. And then, even if you DO hit it -- you have to have a reason to want to improve, own, and be better.
Thank you for your kind words, GM....I was feeling a little down this morning. I wish XW could see me in 1/10th of the light you see me in. That would help.
. I would take her "as is", but it would be "as is" while we go get help and try to work through things. I am now 100% of the belief that each party has to hit that one wall where you realize it's you and not the other person as much as you think. And then, even if you DO hit it -- you have to have a reason to want to improve, own, and be better.