I'm back for a while

[ClingingToHope]

Long, stressful week done.

D15's play was this week, which meant potentially more interaction with XW and possibly a biker guy and all the Clampetts siting.

Plus, two weeks ago I hit a huge pothole and popped a tire and then found out I needed another tire. So that was $220 gone -- and March is typically a low money month.

So I was feeling stress. Lots of it. I could just feel it in my chest and see it on my face. I started to break out again.

And when I'm stressed I'm just not as patient a parent or person.

Last Friday, the 28th, D15 comes home from rehearsal in a p*ssy mood. I'd gotten some texts from XW about how D15 was snapping at everyone at the play and generally acting like a diva.

So I wanted to know what was going on and ... massive teenager struggle ensues. At one point I snapped that I was just going to drop her at her mom's. She called my bluff. I know not to try that card again. I'll never just give up and give her to her mom. Instead, I just stayed and stayed. And she was saying mean, nasty, hurful things to get me to go. It took a couple of hours but finally it all came out ... and it was boy issues mixed in with some self doubt because she's a freshman performing with all these juniors and seniors.

At least we got that out of the way.

D15's first play was Thursday night -- my night. I had to take her to get her hair done. But D11 had a bad day at school. She was caught drawing violent images after a boy had upset her. D11 has had entirely way too much alone time the past three years. I've had to leave her home for chunks at a time and with D15 in rehearsal all the time, her mother routinely leaves her at home for three hours a day after school. I hate that. But I can only leave work early a couple of times a week.

So she isn't getting monitored nearly as much as D15 was at that age -- it's the fallout from divorce.

Still, overall she's doing better at school work, making friends, etc. It's just that she's gotten into these RPG Horror Games on the web and it's something that has to be watched.

So XW sends me a long text about how she's going to restrict this, restrict that and I need to support her.

Sigh.

When I picked up D11 I asked her how her day went and gradually I got out of her the problem with the picture. I told her that we were concerned and there was going to be more restrictions ... and a 3 1/2 hour off and on meltdown occurred.

It was a miracle I was able to get D15 to her hair appointment and then to the play. When the meltdown got really bad, it got really really bad. D11 said she hates her mother -- not just because she won't accept her but because she's having a baby with another man.

I told her I agreed on the computer restrictions and eventually she hated me too. And she tried saying all kinds of things to get me angry to react. Mean, nasty, hurtful things trying to draw a reaction. It took greeeeaaaaaatttttt effort not to lose my temper.

It was interesting to hear her say she hated the fact her mother is having another baby with another man. I know D15 isn't happy, but D11 seemed to be excited, like she was getting a puppy.

Anyway, the emotional storm broke about 15 minutes before the play and we actually made it on time. D15 did well. She had the third largest part as a freshman in the junior/senior play.

D11 bounced between me and XW, who was by herself.

I will admit I did not acknowledge XW. She's very pregnant and I don't want to be around her. Last year, if she was buy herself at kid stuff I'd at least go say hi. Not this year. I don't want the embarrassment of anyone asking when "we" are expecting.

This weekend is XW's so I took the professor to D15's play Friday night.

We were walking to the cafeteria during intermission when XW came walking out of a different door and she was right there so I said hi and we kept walking.

After the play, we went looking for D15 and she was in the hallway with XW and the X-Mother In Law. No biker guy. We stopped about 10 feet away and waited. D15 came over. I gave her a hug. Took a picture and we then left.

So that is it. I didn't go to tonight's play -- the biker guy and gang were coming. And I'm not going tomorrow.

I told D15 the reason why. The professor and I were going skiing. I hadn't done it since before meeting XW and ... I really miss skiing. I had a h*ll of a time today. The professor had skiid before. She's from Michigan. But she's not great at it. She did five runs on the bunny hill and then quit. I then got three in on the bigger hills and we took off. I'm going to go to a more challenging mountain next winter.

XW would never do something like that. It really was an excellent day. Tomorrow is basketball and work on my sister's books and a couple of writing projects.

I'm free of XW for a few weeks. The next shoe to fall is the baby being born. I'm hoping it doesn't happen on my weekend or one of my Thursdays. I can't imagine the feelings I'll have if I have to drive my daughters to the hospital so they can wait for their sister from another father be born.

That's the next biggy on this adventure.