I made dinner tonight (as I always do on weekends now) and again during dinner, W started to talk about her work. She avoids me like the plague the rest of the day, but she does seem comfortable talking to me about her new job. Again, I put down my utensils, looked right at her and listened. And again I told her how it seems to be agreeing with her and building her up. This is the only chink in the armor I've seen.
And then after dinner she's off to a birthday party for a friend. I'll be the missing husband because somehow, the invite didn't get to me. (some of this stuff is so high school) Just as well - it would have been awkward as he11 with friends of hers and OM, and besides S8 and I had cub scout blue and gold ceremony, and now we have some homework to catch up on. That's time much better spent.
My concern with all of this is that in a way, we are behaving like normal R parents - as her work picks up, we're covering for each other, and I've been picking up more household work as a 180. I'm making it extremely easy for her to live here and focus on her job. (job being part of her exit strategy). There's no way she has any sense of seeing what it would be like without me - just the opposite, she's seeing just what it is to have full support, which is something she complained I never gave her. So it's a 180?
It seems like way too much carrot and no stick. I do think that living here is a huge conflict for her, because it's us, and it's practical, but she wants to be with OM, but that's 2 D's away. And I know this is all just futile speculation on my part. I have no clue how this will turn out, and don't know that anyone could.
But I'm enjoying myself and kids, off the roller coaster and looking at all this more objectively.
