Sorry for the confusion. I did ask her to leave and she was with a friend, and she has now moved to her own place. Part of the problem has been to spend time with the kids she was coming to the house. She has not been allowed back to the house. I set conditions which she has not met before that's even discussed. I said she had to have NC with OM, and want to work on MR. Of course, these are far off right now
With respect to hurting herself, she has had thoughts before but never acted on them. She has seen a psychiatrist before , and has taken meds before. To be honest, I think she experienced post partum with our second that was never diagnosed. I didn't file a police report, but I am going to contact our doctor. I do worry that I shouldn't be helping her, but her safety is my concern. Totally agree she has poor coping skills. Very apparent one the last several years.
Our conversations haven't been about our future, but you are right, consistent avoidance of any relationship talk is what I am striving for. At the same time, consistency is the key. My ring is off, pictures are up . This won't be changing until any reconciliation or divorce occurs. I feel strongly about this. If my wife is having an A, she has made a choice and there are consequences.
Totally agree, the schedule resistance is because she wants to be involved when it is convenient, and disappear when it isn't. I've had enough of her just popping in and out. I'd like to change the locks to the house, but the lawyer has advised against this. Right now, the kids live with me full time, and she is over a few nights a week to make dinner etc, predominantly when I am at work. She also helps out with activities on the weekend. She is not living at the house in any way
I'm trying to detach, and a struggle I'm having is how much to help her . For example, she is taking the bed that the bunk beds replaced. I don't really want to help her move it, as I feel she isn't my wife, why should I. I struggle because I have always been there for her, and still want to , but I realize she needs to find her own way.
Hope that clarifies things Sandi2, and as always, thanks for the advice. So helpful in so many ways
