Thanks for the update FC, I'm glad to hear things are on the upswing. MLC sure takes a long time to work through, doesn't it?
I too am moving into "ask for what you want", initiating, and voicing complaint's. For a M to work this is a must have. So if she is responsive, that's a great sign!
You say W goes out too much. Does she tell you about her times out? My W does and I encourage it. I feel close when she is comfortable telling me about "her" world. So, since you "know it is killing her to stay home", maybe loosen up a bit and try to be part of it. My guess is it will play out quicker if you allow it to.
Oh, and regarding the wanting to hear ILY. We all want what we don't have. My W and I are not physical, so I want that. Others have a spouse who is not present, so that's what they long for. The list goes on. See how that works? I find that when I instead focus on the good parts of my sitch, I'm happier and more present for my W, which makes her feel better and lessons the chance of her looking outside the M to have her needs met. You're doing great!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
