It's definity more to this for him IMO....Him bringing up that you two have never been good a resolving conflicts in the past and seemingly not being better now...makes me feel like he's trying to prove something through this. Like confirming for him self "we are just too different....I knew we could never get along".
Yes . . . that is what I get from it, too. Any time there is a conflict (which have been very few since BD bc I have avoided conflict like the plague), he says something about how this is just like when we were married. (BTW, interesting how he considers us to be divorced now even though we are still married.)
The one that immediately pops into mind is when he was talking about his plans for moving out. He listed the things he wanted to take. I said, great, take whatever you want. He told me when/how often he wanted to see the kids. I agreed. He told me where he was going to live. I said OK. It went on like this for a while with me agreeing to everything. Then he said he was going to take the cat. I said no, the cat will stay here. And he, in very dramatic fashion, put his head in his hands, acted like he just couldn't take it anymore, and said, "ugh. this is just like when we were married. You always have to have your way."
He did this a lot, where he would point out how it was just hopeless. During a conversation, instead of discussing the issue at hand, he would say, "we are just never going to see this the same way," or, "there's no point in arguing because I know I'm going to lose," "I'm not going to say anything because I already know what you're going to say," etc.
It always really bothered me, maybe because it felt blame-y, or because it was like, ripping on our relationship, or being negative, I don't know. And I got that same feeling when I got that text.
What I have been doing is sticking only to the facts with my H. No joking, no banter, no comments like that one. I have ignored anything he says other than facts. I am hoping he gets the hint, but I can tell (based on what he says and the fact that he says it immediately) that there isn't much thought going into what he says - he is just reacting.
I will wait for a bit and see if he says anything else before I respond. I feel as though there is no way for me to respond other than to agree or to argue his points . . . which will just prove his point that we are not good at resolving conflict, right? It's like a trap. Hmm. Maybe that is his intent.
Oh well, I am kind of hoping he just leaves me alone the rest of the weekend. Driving down to see my brother +family today - we are excited!
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
