Peace, You may never get the kind of closure you eventually would get w/a loved one passing away. We've had discussions about "closure" here and the closest thing that comes to closure would be an apology and some of us have received those, but many have been said off the cuff and don't sound genuine.
I have found that you will try to make sense of it all, but the bottom line is that when emotions and depression play a huge role in the crisis, it's difficult to make sense of anything they've done during their crisis because they aren't thinking rationally.
I'm sorry you received the two hospital bills, but he might have had them sent there to let you know that he had been in the hospital. They have a way of "letting" us know what's been going in their lives, i.e., even if we've had not contact w/them for years on end.
I do hope that you can find some peace and hopefully one day, he'll find the strength to want to talk to you and apologize.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
