WAW was at the house helping this evening. She tried to put the kids to sleep, couldn't, and then started crying, saying kids would be better of without her. I didn't say anything, kind of detached, and let her wallow in self pity.
All was fine, until as she was crying, her phone went off, and I saw the text messages that had been sent. I know I shouldn't have looked, but I couldn't resist. It was all sexting etc between her and the OM.
I managed to put it out of my mind, but then as we were building bunk beds for the kids, it came to a point where I asked my wife if she really thought I was happy about the sitch. Of course she proceeded to tell me she had been unhappy for years etc. At this point, I lost it and used several inappropriate words that described her activities and what I had seen on the phone. Yes, snooping does not help.
Regardless, she freaked out, began bawling, and then it got scary. She took a knife, and made like she was going to slit her wrist. I managed to calm her down, and get the knife out of her hands. She was extremely emotional, and took a long time to settle down. Of course I felt horrible.
I am concerned about her mental health, but I was so distraught by what I had seen on her phone, that I couldn't help myself when I got hurt by her comments. Now I feel like I have lost any progress I had made, although really, she has already moved out . I just want to be better than that
My message to myself is that no good comes from snooping. This is a painful realization. Continuing on this bent, no good comes from asking a WAW R questions. You all have told me as much
On a positive note, we are supposedly setting up a schedule. I'll believe it when I see it. Tomorrow will be a fresh start and a return to my DB and WAW skill development . Hard not to beat myself up because of a backslide
. Hard not to beat myself up because of a backslide
