hope, your H and mine must be reading the same script - I've heard all those same things: we're not compatible, like roommates, H thinking we need to D so that he can realize what he's missing and then get back together (like you said, why go through all the pain and suffering then??), not being supportive enough, not having the same interests, having a previous separation but not getting at the underlying issues, H saying feelings haven't changed despite hanging out together and having a good time, still thinks we can be friends... ugh. It sounds like you know what you need to do, but just need to remind yourself/keep practicing putting it into action. It's hard, but I've personally found that getting those negative results make it easier for me to take a step back and not take conversations in that direction.
Besides avoiding pursuing and R talk, what else are you working on for you? What kinds of GAL things are you thinking of?
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
- I've heard all those same things: we're not compatible, like roommates, H thinking we need to D so that he can realize what he's missing and then get back together (like you said, why go through all the pain and suffering then??), not being supportive enough, not having the same interests, having a previous separation but not getting at the underlying issues, H saying feelings haven't changed despite hanging out together and having a good time, still thinks we can be friends... ugh. It sounds like you know what you need to do, but just need to remind yourself/keep practicing putting it into action. It's hard, but I've personally found that getting those negative results make it easier for me to take a step back and not take conversations in that direction.