Starsky, she doesn't seem to think a schedule is a good idea. Really, I think she's being selfish, as she has a rotating schedule, so it will be a nightmare for her, with absolutely no support. I worry about the safety of my kids a bit. I don't want them being used as pawns to have her realize what she is doing. However the reality of a divorce is she will not have my support when she has the kids. They are my number one concern. Another tough thing to think about.
One of the first things the family court will have you do in ANY divorce (or even legal separation, if your state has them) situation is SET UP A CO-PARENTING SCHEDULE/PLAN.
She might as well get used to it now. I would insist on seeing a good FT together, and tell her you will defer to what the FT thinks.
