I know I am new and I believe this forum is support for those who were a WAS but I wanted some advice concerning my WAW...
My wife now is barely home, doesn't spend a whole lot of time with our D15. When she is home she sits on the couch, plays on her phone and watches TV.
I am guessing this is the description of a WAW? Also, as a WAS did anyone also alienate themselves from family members? The reason I ask is that her parents and brother's family live just 5 minutes away and she doesn't visit them like she once did.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Me: 40 W: 39 D: 16 S: 21 R: 20 Years (married 18) 9/2013 W indicated that she wanted to leave.
I am sorry to hear about your situation. The best thing you can do for your marriage and your family would be to speak to a Divorce Busting Coach. Your coach will suggest things to say and do differently right away that will help generate a more positive response from your spouse. Please call me to discuss this program. 303-444-7004
Roberta, Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004 Roberta@divorcebusting.com
Thanks for the response. Before proceeding with any sort of coaching I just need confirmation that what I am experiencing is a WAW. The symptoms seem to be pointing to that but I am perplexed that she has disconnected from her family as well.
Me: 40 W: 39 D: 16 S: 21 R: 20 Years (married 18) 9/2013 W indicated that she wanted to leave.
Just curious, what would it help to know she is or isn't an "according to Hoyle" WAW?
In my instance, I had a WAW to ended up having more issues then just the walking away. All those issues had little to do with me. And I wasted TONS of time trying to figure out what box she fit in (WAW/EA/PA/etc).
That is my one regret in my process, is that I didn't consult a coach.
Me: 43 M: 10y S:15 ILYBINILWY 2/18/13 W moved out 2/18/13 Filed for D: 2/17/13 Got DB: 2/20/13 Got DR: 2/23/13 180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13 D Final Dec '13
I know I am new and I believe this forum is support for those who were a WAS but I wanted some advice concerning my WAW...
My wife now is barely home, doesn't spend a whole lot of time with our D15. When she is home she sits on the couch, plays on her phone and watches TV.
I am guessing this is the description of a WAW? Also, as a WAS did anyone also alienate themselves from family members? The reason I ask is that her parents and brother's family live just 5 minutes away and she doesn't visit them like she once did.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Yes. my W did all of those things in the year leading up to leaving. she distanced herself from everyone. slept on the couch...made her own plans and only interacted with the kids when they did things SHE liked to do. this sounds very familiar.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
As a WAW in my 1st M I still visited with family and was close for years, but was rebellious with churches and God. I also started running with a wild group of people when I didn't have my kids (and sometimes my kids saw this in me). I was spiritual but blamed Him. It isn't until recently I understand this. I didn't realize until my 2nd H left me after 6 mths. (EA & PA--figure out that?) that I was a WAW. I actually used my 1st H EA & PA as an excuse and reason to run fast rather than WAW. Wow. This DBing can help all of us. 21 years is a long journey and remarrying after the journey to find out who I am and what I did getting here. It does take both H & W to get together and allow the other WAS to go on this journey. You men and wives need to somehow (for your family) let go in a loving way and somehow she/he needs to realize through C or DBing or reading (whatever works for her) that the family is important. My three boys I'm sure suffered and my ex remarried 1.5 years after the ink dried and harassed me in the legal system for 6 yrs. I know he was really angry with me and well his W of 12/13 yrs. is a handful and it's not much different for him. Really. Concentrate on this and save your families.
As a WAW in my 1st M I still visited with family and was close for years, but was rebellious with churches and God. I also started running with a wild group of people when I didn't have my kids (and sometimes my kids saw this in me). I was spiritual but blamed Him. It isn't until recently I understand this. I didn't realize until my 2nd H left me after 6 mths. (EA & PA--figure out that?) that I was a WAW. I actually used my 1st H EA & PA as an excuse and reason to run fast rather than WAW. Wow. This DBing can help all of us. 21 years is a long journey and remarrying after the journey to find out who I am and what I did getting here. It does take both H & W to get together and allow the other WAS to go on this journey. You men and wives need to somehow (for your family) let go in a loving way and somehow she/he needs to realize through C or DBing or reading (whatever works for her) that the family is important. My three boys I'm sure suffered and my ex remarried 1.5 years after the ink dried and harassed me in the legal system for 6 yrs. I know he was really angry with me and well his W of 12/13 yrs. is a handful and it's not much different for him. Really. Concentrate on this and save your families.
