Yesterday, I had a major setback. Our D7 has always been an excellent student, but has recently started getting slightly lower grades. I called my H to talk about it. He and I agreed about some things we need to do to help her and decided that I would schedule a conference with her teacher. I guess he could tell that I was holding back. Something like the following conversation ensued:
H: is there anything else you want to say? Me: No. H: It seems like there is. Me: Nope. H: You think this is because of the separation, don't you? Me: There isn't a doubt in my mind that the separation is the reason. H: I disagree.
From there, the conversation became increasingly negative, with me telling him that he was selfish and putting his own desires in front of our D7's wellbeing. I also said something about him living in a fantasy land where this had no negative consequences on our D7 and he somehow still gets to be a good guy in the story he tells himself.
Later in the day, he told me that he had done a lot of thinking and decided he definitely wanted a D. I reacted terribly--screaming, insulting, etc. At some point during the call, he said we were both reacting from a place of emotion and that he wanted to pretend the conversation never happened. He wants more time to think before deciding.
I feel as though there is no chance of R and am finding it increasingly difficult to remain hopeful. I need to work harder on GAL so that I can be more consistent with PMA.
