Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
T, sounds like you're handling a difficult situation well! I don't know how you take some of the stuff from your W, you must have a great amount of intestinal fortitude smile Regarding this part:

"States that she is forced to claim benefits while I live in a luxurious home. - Irrelvent, I'm stuck in this house with no other options available to me."

Let me offer this advice- if the house is a huge financial drain on you then get out of it ASAP. My brother got divorced about 8 years ago and kept the huge house and it became the biggest mistake of his life. He could have sold it at the time and broken even, but he was convinced he had a lot of equity in it that he needed that equity, so he was going to wait for the economy to improve. So he has scraped by month-after-month ever since barely covering his loan and bills. If his car breaks down, or the kids need dental work, etc. etc. then he has to borrow money or put even more debt on his soaring credit cards. So here he is 8 years later, and now he's spent another 288,000.00 (yes that number is correct) on house payments and STILL he has no equity!!! I have tried explaining the numbers to him but he is still clinging to the idea that his house will be worth a fortune some day and he can sell it and buy a smaller house and live off the rest. So he keeps throwing more money at the problem.

The only point I'm trying to make is if the house is causing your financial difficulties, take a lesson from my brother and cut your losses right away!! He stayed in his house because he thought he was punishing his W by doing so. Well she got the last laugh on that deal, he's stuck with a monster mortgage on a home that is constantly declining in value.


The house is a tough one for me. I feel like I'm backed into a corner.

My options especially right now are very limited.
Currently it's in my name but she has Matromonial Home Rights.
I can't sell, rent or remortage without her permission.
If I sell at the current market value there is no equity to split. She won't go for that because she loses out.
If I remortgage she wants a share of the money I will save. I won't go for that because I'm not willing to remortgage to give her extra money.

If we D then I remortgage I will be saving hundreds a month. I will be then stuck in the house for two years due to an expensive fee to get out of the mortgage. In that time i will decide what my next step is. keep it or sell it. After this time I will be in a better place, mentally and financially to make the decision.

The house isn't some mansion it's just a nice house. It's the sort of house I would be looking for in a few years time if I sold it after the divorce.

I agree if there is no respite from the financial issues at the end of the tunnel i should D then sell. Part of the reason I want to get D sorted is my debts including mortgage are getting paid off every month and the house has actually increased in value since last year and looks like it might rise (might).
Leave it another 6 month and her equity could be a fair bit more. I can't afford to pay it out but it all eases my current problems as time moves on.


M36 W31
S4 S2
T5 M4
BD Jan12 S July12
Recon Sep12-Nov12
ILBINILWY Jan13
OM x 2 in 2013
W wants R July 13
I start D. Jan 14.
Meet GF Nov 13
Have I changed enough? Jul 14

The World is still My Oyster!