Eric - I am getting better at just making my case and then stopping the conversation. This one was tough, because there was a few thousand dollars on the line. It is hard to just let that go without making an attempt at changing her mind. In the end, I did just let it go, and she ended up changing her mind. You are right, though, I could have saved myself a lot of headaches by simply stating "The agreement is 50%, that is what I expect" and nothing more.
Do I still love my W? I don't know. I think I am in love with an idea, a fantasy. What I love is not who she really is. It doesn't actually matter, this is a one way trip. Too much damage has been done.
I can understand the motivation behind WHY a person would live in denial about the damage they have caused. I am just amazed that they are actually capable of it. Apparently, the human mind is capable of rationalizing anything.
My dancing is improving. It is nowhere near what it was before I got married. Who knows if it ever will be. a 45 yr old body just doesn't move as well as a 25 yr old one.
I have not gone salsa dancing in 2 weeks. The last time I went, I was a little uncomfortable. The woman were very young (late 20's, early 30's) and the dancing was very sensual. It is hard to describe, but I had this feeling that it was inappropriate for me to be there. I am not interested in dating, and I am trying to live my faith. I don't need that level of temptation.
I did find one of the top Salsa teachers in the area and will start taking private lessons as soon as tax season is over. I just need to find a better venue to dance Salsa in. For now, I will just stick to swing / ballroom dancing when I go out.
On Friday night, I got a babysitter and went to a ballroom social dance. It was a lot of fun. There were probably 150 people there. I met this woman who was a fantastic dancer. She spun like a little top. I recognized her from years ago when we both used to dance at this country bar. At the end of the night, she asked if she could call me the next time she went out dancing and I gave her all my contact information.
She sent me an email yesterday. This weekend, I am taking my 3 kids and D14's friend to an indoor waterpark. D12 has a gymnastics meet there. So, no dancing this weekend. Maybe I will go out with her next weekend. She does a killer 2-step and West coast swing. A night of country dancing would do me good.
