Your H seems pretty self absorbed. (I know, I am pretty sharp to notice that, right?)
My is pretty self absorbed and always has been. I don't even think that he realizes how self absorbed he is. He is the guy that is always late because it is no big deal and the person waiting on him will be fine.
My H does say that he wishes that he could be with the kids all the time. But when we actually discuss the matter seriously, he says that he does not think 50/50 is best for the kids. And I think that he fully realizes that it would put a damper on his current fantasy life. I was gone for four days and he was shocked by how much time the kids took up and the fact that he could get nothing done a work when he had to do pick up/drop off, dinner, bedtime, etc. He simply works too much to have the kids 50/50, to actually run his business and still have time to party, etc. At least at this point, he is not ready to give that up based on his comments (which is ok with me because I get more time with the kids).
My H is actually much better at planning now. Heck, before he left for his trips he looked at his calendar and planned out several changes. So I no longer buy his excuse that he is not a planner. It is just his default response that he thinks excuses his actions. He says it when he is late for stuff, yet it still does not make it less rude. He may never learn because his mom is the EXACT same way so he was brought up thinking that it was okay.
It is my H's night with the kids, so I am planning to stay really late at work to try and catch up. That way I can focus on my buddies the rest of the weekend.
