Now, she just told me one of the girls is having a bday and she will be having a slumber party this saturday with her two girls. She has never done this. On all 13 years she has been focused on our family, not regressing as if she was 20 back again. Her language and behavior is changing as she is trying to act like them (so it seems). She does have friends who are happily married and her age but does not frequent them often and I've seen she acting completely different around her girlfriends who are around our age. Thoughts?
It's all part of her journey, a journey that you can't help her with, or speed up. You can slow her journey down by trying to intervene though. Leave her to her journey while you work on yourself and make yourself into the spouse only a fool would leave.
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Additionally, the same OM she was friendly back in Jan 2013 is back. I noticed she is texting him quite a bit. Not romantic, but a lot of friendly communication. To add things up, both those girls do like the OM. He is 23! -- This guy lives 1.5 hrs from were we are and posts on FB being out with girls all the time. So, I don't know if he is just leading her on by responding (and she is of course the one initiating texts) or he is just seeing an opportunity because of our situation. BTW, the OM used to work for me and knows me. I even contemplated talking to him since they aren't romantic or anything but my gut feeling tells me not to do anything.
Quit focusing on your W and everything she says/ does and what it means. It's all outside of your control. Detach, GAL, focus on you and the kids. Don't talk to the OM, it will hurt your sitch. Your W will see you as being controlling/ manipulative when she finds out.
