[quote=melissag] Uh, yes. I'm not kidding. My H doesn't think things through in advance, he just assumes everything will be fine. I don't think he considered all of this crap when he decided to walk out . . . he just thought about all the wonderful opportunities he would have - the independence, doing whatever he wants whenever he wants, dating around, etc. At some point he began to consider the details but not in reality. In his own self absorbed world, where he would offer up something crappy (re: financial) that was, in his mind, overly generous; I would take it, we would be best friends, and the kids would be perfectly fine.
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I seriously think that they spend so much time planning their exit and fantasizing what life may look like when they "get out" that they don't think of anything beyond that. AT ALL. I don't think that I fully understood this until I asked my H where he was thinking about moving and he said maybe he would get a place with his single guy friends. I was dumbfounded...I guess my H forgot that he is not in college and has three children. Some other plans that my H has mentioned for his future: (1) traveling the world all the time; (2) maintaining our current home and a new home for himself in the same neighborhood (we live in a crazy expensive cost of living area); (3) potential 50/50 custody (which I really think he just uses as leverage ). I am still wondering how my H believes that he can pull all of these things off at the same time because it is simply not possible. If he is going to have the funds to maintain two households and pay for travel, then he is going to need to make even more money than he is now, which would mean working more. If he is working more, than how can be travel the world and possibility have 50/50 custody.
The WAS's fantasies are simply not possible. When they are faced with reality, they get angry and spew. I guess this is why the WAS can end up unhappy forever because they are living with these crazy expectations that simply cannot come true. No wonder they may never find happiness.
Have an amazing time visiting your brother and his family. I think that the weather is supposed to be nice this weekend!! If your H starts to spew, just turn off your phone and pretend you don't have service. Enjoy your kiddos
