Quote: She has described their encounters as "fun" not as soul-mate material. Hard to say if she is lying at present, since she has lied to maintain that relationship many times, so I try to take everything I am seeing with a grain of salt.
Danzona
Good plan! I'm really sorry she's putting you through this.
Corri:
Quote: The time you give to that person, and the complete devotion of your attention, and the obvious care you show for this person I believe is what is causing the problem. It sounds to me that there may be a competition for your 'time' going on. You OWE your husband your loyalty. By marrying him, you agreed to put him first above all others. That you even resist this with your H is what is making him feel doubt.
Wow! You make it sound as if I can't get through a day without hearing my friend's voice! I talk to him once every couple of weeks! Even once he moves here, if he does, we'll probably have coffee once a week, if that. Of course I'm loyal to H and he comes first.
Quote: No, it is not a rational feeling. But he IS entitled to his feelings, and I am sure that if the roles were reversed, you too, would feel a sense of 'being left out in the cold.'
I'm not sure. I'd possibly feel that way if I was never invited to come along or H refused to share the friendship with me. Without having something to hide - there shouldn't be any hard feelings, in my opinion.
Quote: The more 'emotionally close' you become to your friend, the further you and your H are going to drift apart. At some point you must draw a line and reserve a certain level of emotional closeness only with your spouse.
I think this is the problem. Bret and I were close long before I met my H. As much as I love my H, I also love my best friend and I think it's inevitable that we may even grow closer as his "time" draws nearer.
Thanks for your perspectives. I think H and I are just going to have to take this one day at a time and try to keep our lines of communication as clear and open as possible.
