Well, I don't want to beat you up too bad because you know you backslid, but yeah, it was a pretty big backslide. Even though you say you're not trying to guilt him into returning, that's exactly what it sounds like and probably how he perceived it. You're trying to reason with him which doesn't work because WAS's are acting on emotions, not logic. They're being motivated by their feelings and you can't "snap them out of" their feelings. I'm sure on some level it felt good to get that off your chest, but now that you've said it hopefully you can move forward without ever repeating any of that. If/ when he's ready to talk about reconciling HE will come to YOU. Until then, stick to your DB'ing, always remember Sandi's rules, and as some around here like to say, when in doubt sit back and drink a cool glass of STFU
Ok here's the whiny part. I think you are turning into the father I always wanted you to be and some other woman will get this great husband and father. I know it's not supposed to be about me but I see all these changes he's making and it hurts so much that we are not going to be a family anymore:(
There is no telling what the future holds. labug posts a lot to you, but I don't know if you've read her sitch. If not you should, because there was a long period of time that she was convinced it was over too. Same thing with 25, at one time she gave her marriage a 5% chance! Your sitch is still quite young even though it doesn't seem like it I'm sure. Hang in there, it really is a marathon! It's too early to give up hope!
The signs you saw were positive baby steps, but you turned them into negatives! The fact that he's covering the dental costs when he's rarely if ever offered anything like that in the past is GOOD! Celebrate the baby steps!
Thanks AnotherStander I guess one of my issues is for our whole marriage I never ever spoke up. I did before we were married and now I feel I need for him to hear all of this instead of just sitting quietly and taking it like I did our whole marriage. You are absolutely right it does not help my course at all. Is there a place on here that explains in general what WAS are thinking/feeling?
W-38 H-42 T-11 M-8 C-6,2,6 months BD-Oct 1 2013 DFiled-Jan 6 2014 Went Dark - April 4, 2014
Ok we talked today at his instigation. We ended up having sex at his instigation. I don't even know the rules regarding that at DB? Of course afterwards he called and said please don't think I took advantage of you, you just look so amazing now. I told him yes I realize it was just sex and meant nothing.
W-38 H-42 T-11 M-8 C-6,2,6 months BD-Oct 1 2013 DFiled-Jan 6 2014 Went Dark - April 4, 2014
Mic, good work. My DB coach calls that "taking the bullets out of his gun." That is, quickly validating and deflecting before they can work themselves into a tizzy. Good work. Hope you really felt OK about it.
Ok absolutely. I won't. That is one of his complaints now is his words I look so amazing now and in the past months when we were trying to work on our relationship it was the best sex of his life. Of course for him it was and is all lust. Today I come in and daughter doesn't have her homework done. I start helping her. I'm not sure and getting my younger breakfast. I'm not sure where the line is of helping my kids or taking over during his parenting time. I'm feeling if it hurts my kids go ahead. Example not her fault she didn't get her homework done so help. Kids in same outfit from day before not a big deal just different parenting styles. I did get an apology text from him regarding the homework and agreeing to finish in the afternoons
W-38 H-42 T-11 M-8 C-6,2,6 months BD-Oct 1 2013 DFiled-Jan 6 2014 Went Dark - April 4, 2014
