I hope the new fish are clown fish! Can't go wrong with them.
On the plus side, I am getting more detached from my H, I think. Last night when I got scowled at for an hour during TKD, at first I got that awful feeling in my stomach that felt so familiar during our M. The "oh [censored], what did I do now? Why is he mad at me?" feeling. And then I realized that it doesn't matter anymore, because I have done nothing wrong and if he is mad at me for something, that's his problem, not mine.
This is good to hear, M! You're working toward full detachment. Give this process some time. What a difference from a mere few months ago. My L said my H will probably blow a gasket when he sees it., and he is probably right.
Did H think divorce is all cotton candy and popsciles??
Back to the earlier convo. I've told my C that I think I need to focus on finding that middle ground between hating my H/being an ice princess, and getting sucked in and jumping on his roller coaster.
Has anyone successfully done that? I mean, when your H/W has filed for D. And before the D is over. Is it even possible?
Yep. We've all been through the anger phase and really disliking our spouses for the chit they threw at us. Sure, with time and applying DBing principles, you'll be able to detach and remove yourself from the rollercoaster. It is a process. Don't be too hard on yourself because there's no real yard stick that you have to measure yourself against. Why would you want to do that? Sometimes you'll move along quite nicely and something comes up that sets you several steps back.
The key is not to be reactive to H's spews and/or angry missiles. Easier said than done...but with practice, it CAN be done!
