Thanks Dan! I agree to a certain extent, but at the same time I don't think I could look myself in the mirror if I ended a friendship for these reasons. Of course my husband means more to me. I married him and had children with him. I share my every day life with him. I chose him to grow old with; not my friend. Our pact was in place, yet when I met my husband, I CHOSE him! The only jeopardizing going on is in his head, isn't it? How can he be so concerned about me running off with an HIV+ gay friend? Why would I throw away *everything* I have now for *something* that would only last a few years, if that? It's comparing apples to oranges.
Quote: What is it about my friend that makes you uncomfortable?
Why do you fear my being unfaithful to you?
Help me understand why my friendship with my gay friend is upsetting to you.
I have asked him those questions practically word for word actually. He's afraid that I'll run away with him but can't answer anything else.
Quote: I doubt you would be foolish enough to engage in a sexual relationship with a person who is HIV+, and you need to reassure your husband that is the case.
I have reassured him that I have NEVER WANTED to engage in a sexual relationship with my friend! I've assured him that my friend might as well be my brother or best girlfriend. I even admitted to him that I'd feel a twinge of panic if my friend sneezed on me! I've never been sexually attracted to my friend. What I feel for him is a platonic, brother-sister love. I've explained all of this to him. The thought of being forced or even offering to give him up, makes me feel sick to my stomache. I just can't wrap my head around cutting off a friendship simply because my H doesn't like him or how close we are.
Now, he has used the arguement that I'd feel totally different if he had a lesbian *best* friend. I have to admit, it would bother me. My curiosity could get the best of me. However, reality is - when we met, he had the opportunity to accept the fact that I have gay friendships or not. I never concealed my friendships. If he had a lesbian best friend when we met, I would have taken that into consideration and weighed out if I could handle it or not. I would have asked to meet her so I could see them interact together, how she treated me and see how attractive she was. Catch my drift?
I don't think it's fair to demand that I drop a friend just because he happens to have a penis.
