Crimson......still just checkin' in.

[25yearsmlc]

Crimson my man,

I was going to mention that the reason I believe your w wanted to talk to the T, was at least partly to see if any of your changes were real. She hoped the T would say "oh, you know, men..." or give away some clue about how you "still don't get it".

But that's not what your w heard. OTOH, Crimson, I delayed saying this b/c I don'tt want to give you false hope that she's THINKING about....recon, you, whatever.

B/c the reality is that even if your X woke up tomorrow morning and said "OMG, he IS who I need/want the rest of my life!!"

SHE would still be who she was a few years back. Still blaming you for whatever ails her past/ present life. Still thinking SHE got screwed in the divorce SHE initiated...

You want that? Think first, before repeating what you've been longing for & telling yourself for a few years now. B/c longing for what you thought you once had, is a fool's hope.

You two would need NEW tools for communicating with each other b/c she still hears what she fears, Not what you say or mean.

I would not even attempt piecing without Retrovaille or Imago or something....b/c without a new plan of action it would be pointless.

Sure, I'd love you to meet OW who lights your fire and "gets" you and your son.
Whom your son comes to see first as a nice friend, then as a loving source of additional affirmation for him, and then, as a woman who loves him AND loves his dad and makes him happy.

My original hope was that your x would awaken to your unique gifts and would want to improve herself to become her best self and la dee dah...

I'm just thinking that it's less & less likely to happen, so it's not likely that she'll assume any responsibility for her life...as she has thus far made so little progress.

Crimson, maybe you ought to move forward without so much longing for what might have been.

You sound a tad stuck is what I'm really saying.

What do you think?