My D9's class went on 45 field trips last school year. She is on pace to hit that same number this year. She has gone on every single field trip so far this year, and has never asked to stay home from one until this one.
My kids RARELY miss a day of school (they are hardly ever sick, knock on wood!), so I do not have a problem with taking them out once in a while for a long weekend with family, the MLB home opener, or simply a mental health day with Mom. They understand that school is important, and that these instances are exceptions.
I would *not* let my D9 out of this or any other field trip solely because she thinks it will be boring. *I* don't feel comfortable with her going on this trip. IF she really wanted to go, that would be a compelling reason for me to push through my own concerns with the trip, for her benefit. Since she doesn't want to go, there is nothing motivating me to do that.
There is nothing for me to apologize to my H for; I didn't leave him out of anything. I haven't yet told my D9 or her teacher whether she is going on the field trip.
I want to know what the "right" (or legal, whatever you want to call it) answer is re: who gets to make this decision, because I want to be prepared in case my H decides to choose this battle. I was never planning to lead with, "screw you, H, I am legally entitled to make this decision, so I don't need to consult you." (In fact, what I said to him was, "I haven't made a decision about the field trip, I wanted to discuss with you first. Let me know your thoughts.") But, I want to know whether, if he decides to start spewing or threatening or manipulating, I can ignore him and make the decision I think is best for my kid. I recognize he might NOT do that - and I am not going to base my participation in the discussion assuming that he will. But I do feel that I need to be prepared, since his behavior lately has been volatile and unpredictable. IMO, when someone threatens a battle, you look for peace first, but you're a fool if you show up without a weapon to defend yourself.
There is no middle ground if we disagree. Either she goes or she doesn't. What I was trying to figure out is, ultimately, whose call is this?
Finally, yes, if the "law" was that the person who has physical custody of the children on that day gets to make the decisions (obviously other than big ones like changing schools, or having a non-emergency surgery or something), I would respect that 100%. In fact, I have accepted that when my H has the kids, he is in charge, and I have interfered with that exactly ZERO times since BD.
Hope that clarifies a bit.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
