I'm back again 4 years later

[praying_in_GA]

Okay. So I have been happy and positive all all day. He is going for a job interview tomorrow and it looks very promising. I mentioned that he doesn't need to worry about the bills once he is bringing in some money. I said he could just help with groceries and that way he would also have spending money. He looks up and says "Have you talked to a lawyer? You are a complete 180 from what you have been." I told him that I have done some soul searching and decided I needed to stop holding him back from things that may make him happy. I told him it would be good for him to have spending money instead of working for bills and that I have the house covered anyway. He asked if I was concerned about abandonment if he goes to the Navy. I am confused by this question and still don't understand it.

Probably wasn't a good idea but I text him and said "If have consulted a lawyer, let me know so I can do the same." he responded with "I haven't but you can go ahead." I told him I would prefer that we wait. I said that things don't have to be black or white... There are shades of gray. His response "shades you may like?" I was thoroughly confused so I just responded with "Maybe"

[Rick1963]

Praying please read your post. Its full of pursuing pleading and begging. Im gonna share something bout me. I was M when I was 21. She got pregnant. We had 2 son. I cheated on her with the woman that I left her for and that landed me here. During my confusion I tried to join the military. I was scared and running away. Could not face what I was about to do. The military turned me down do to some medical stuff. But that was my way out. Cowerdly escape huh?
Back off a bit so the squirrel doesn't feel the need to flee.

[praying_in_GA]

Really :-(

I truly felt like I was being supportive earlier today. I am trying to create and maintain a positive energy around me.

I just know I am going to mess this up. Last time I have a little more hand holding but I was also in full on crisis mode. This time I feel a little more in control. I know the asking for holding the lawyer off was the wrong step. I need to work on thinking before speaking.

[praying_in_GA]

I need to get back into DR full on tonight.

[Rick1963]

If u know u are going to mess something up why would go ahead and do it? Doesn't sound rational to me?

[praying_in_GA]

I'm just not very confident right now. I'm working on it. I am going based on memory of the book and this site. I will read it ASAP so that I can stop... Now!

[Rick1963]

Eric wrote sonething about fear a few days ago on the midlife crisis thread. Please read it. He is very knowledgeable. I think that isxwhere u are operating from.

[praying_in_GA]

Thank you. I will.

It is reassuring to have someone responding... Even when I am doing everything wrong.

[praying_in_GA]

I still have hope for us but I also understand that I have work to do. Time to roll us the sleeves.

[praying_in_GA]

Hate to be a pain, but do you know the thread name?