Thanks for reply. I am trying to GAL. So far the best I have been able to do is join a gym that has free childcare. I'm struggling as H has left the kids solely in my care. He only minds them when I'm working. I have contacted a fee places looking to volunteer with them (something I have always wanted to do) and I can hopefully make some new friends. I don't have any family or friends nearby. They all live quite a distance away so getting the kids minded or even just going out for coffee isn't easy. My H has noticed the gym stuff though. He is obsessed with his at the moment and has been asking me about mine when he sees me. That's pretty much all he says to me, or stuff about the kids.
When he is around I am trying to appear as if. It's easy enough as that's what the kids need too. They still need to go to school, the housework still needs done. And i try to be 'happy' while I do it. I don't react to his little triggers anymore.
I don't try and talk to him anymore about our R, I haven't for weeks. And at the moment you are right. Even though if he does push this forward, and our house is sold, the kids need schools etc; at the moment none of that is happening. And we are ok. So as frustrating as this status quo is , it is working for me and the kids at the moment.
I do know that i will be ok without him. I can do it alone. And the children are ok (they're behaviour is settling down as they get used to it I guess. Although they do have some separation anxiety). I guess I just don't want too. I miss him. And I mourn I guess for the life i thought we were building together for our kids. I always thought we were on the same page. Now it seems we are reading different books. I'm not sure how to cope with those feelings.
