Barrybran IV - Three Years Forward, 30 Years Back

[Barrybran]

It's all good. I have a habit of being long-winded myself. I don't tie money to my wife's feelings in my situation. My wife was fiercely independent before we got together and it caused our first break up prior to getting married. She hated having to rely on me but grew to accept that there would be ebbs and flows and that we would support each other. I've never been truly comfortable with how our finances were handled but I made ours work for us. I'm not too fussed if my wife wants to even the bills out, I'd welcome it in fact, but I think it creates a new kind of division and I'm against that. Of course, it's not my place to tell her that but to go along with it and have her figure it out herself.

I understand your point about people wanting to work to the point of exhaustion on their marriages but I also understand that my wife feels like she has already put in that effort and that I've let her down. I know she hasn't had all the tools but that's why we're all here, isn't it? Knowledge is power and we now have the power to influence our relationships for the better. At the end of the day, no amount of financial security is going to guarantee emotional security and our wives have acted on that premise.