separated on a walk II

[paul19510]

Journal: the early hours are not nice these past few days....despite all evidence to the contrary my mind plays tricks on me with the coulda, shoulda, woulda game. I will go to the gym in a while and burn it off.

[labug]

Paul, did you ask her why she didn't want to go back? Finding the right T is difficult for adults, I imagine it would be even more so at 16.

Have you talked to her about your therapy? Not specifics but why you chose to go and how it's helping. I wouldn't make it a big deal but I think we marginalize, and add further stigma when we don't at least recognize that we're getting help for problems, just as we would if we were having an asthma attack. I will often make a comment, saw my T today, it was a good appt., or it was tough or whatever. I don't want it to be a whispered secret.

[paul19510]

Hi bug. I have been ooen about my experiences with it and how it helped. She sis aay her last T was kinda strange for her. I told her we can find another...

On a separste nots...I am onsite with a client today and this client now wears mmy Ws favorite pefume. One thst she only wore on special occasions or dates with me. Ugh. Smells do bring back memories. I wish she would wear it. Lol

[paul19510]

Typos. Ugh. I wish she wouldn't wear it. Lol

[paul19510]

Update: W picked D 16 up.from.school due to illness. Said d was being dramaric and didn't need to come home. D16 said W vented and she didn't want to talk. Siad D16 was up to something. I told her I didn't think so.

W alsonstayed she thought anout my propsal to.schedule custody time. She said she wants 3 fays pwr week and would want to start next week. She eants lall kids to come wirh her on her nights. I am intersted to see hoe the new schedulw works but told her I am supportive of her time with them.

[paul19510]

Update (spell corrected. I hate my phone some days): W picked D 16 up.from.school due to illness. Said d was being dramatic and didn't need to come home. Said D16 was up to something. I told her I didn't think so. I think she was sick and needed to go home.

D16 said W vented and she didn't want to talk and pressured her to answer why she was upset with her. Two completely opposite stories. W called to go over it with me and D16 said she had nothing to say about it when I spoke with her later.... Other than her mom wanted to rehash stuff and it was upsetting.

W also stated she thought about my propsal to schedule custody time. She said she wants 3 days per week and would want to start next week. She wants all 3 kids to come with her on her custody nights. I am intersted to see how the new schedule works but told her I am supportive of her time with them.

I did call my L to ask if all kids "had" to go to custody nights. they asked me to have W submit a written (email) request to me. They did not commit to the "had to go with" statement. D16 is saying she wants nothing to do with it....the other two kids are fine.

My only objection is sending a child with their parent if they feel its a problem. My D is 16. I think by that age she should have a say...

[paul19510]

Journal: feeling down today. Didnt sleep well again. S12 was up most of the night. Work is starting to get very busy and asking for travel. W is complaining about kids to me.

I wasn't able to get up at 5 today to do the part time stuff. I will go tomorrow morning. I am going to try anf go to thr gym for a few minutes this morning. I need a" pick me up". I am not sure ehere the down feeling is coming from. I will have to just work through it. I was doing really good. Then this came. I know its temporary.

[willbwell]

I kept hitting the snooze this AM! go to the gym, try and shake it off. you make the day be as you want it to be! I have a new mantra I use every morning! it helps!
haven't read far back in your thread... I asked around( friends in same sit. dr's) and got the name of T for my S's. found a great one I am thankful for. S20 will even make his own app. now. He sees the value of it. He sees it helps.
I don't make S17 go stay with his dad. D15 will, but S17 never does. He doesn't want to . Neither H or I push it. They will have dinner together. We don't have a set schedule.
It is temporary. I have these moments too. I look for what is good-

[artsy]

Paul, your W seems to complain about everybody. That should cement it for you that it's not about you. You will move on to better things. Hang in there.

[paul19510]

Paul, your W seems to complain about everybody. That should cement it for you that it's not about you. You will move on to better things. Hang in there.

thanks artsy. I tried. Like M mentioned in one of her posts. ..paraphrasing...I now see W in another way. I am no longer making excuses. J do ask oeolle if jt was always this way. They reply yes, you loved her we couldn't tell you otherwise. .....