tbm4evr ...continued

[Bunches]

TBM, the glass of wine or making lunch is not so bad if it's something you want to do. Just don't have expectations or look for reactions. I do the same sometimes when my W comes by the house. I'll get a drink out and ask if she wants a glass of wine. Its something you can do to be kind but not if you are actually going out of your way to get a reaction.

I too turned off facebook. I kept trying to put positive things up there but found myself regularly looking for reactions from her and then would see things she put up that would make me feel bad. Like the day she changed her last name back to maiden name on FB. Its not always snooping, but if you are looking and thinking about what those things mean that she puts up...it kinda is.

I did put things up earlier in that I thought would get a reaction but I think all I was accomplishing was guilt to her or nothing. Guilt doesn't help, it just keeps her from doing anything but feeling bad and acting more negative towards me. And when I got no reaction it just made me feel bad for thinking she didn't care. Essentially, it was just me hurting me. Not sure if that applies to you but maybe a useful perspective.