Been thinking a lot about fear and anger lately. Thanks to some friends, processing a lot of feelings of being stuck this week.

I am angry that I am working as hard on myself and understanding my situation and my W is basically living in teenage fantasy land.

I'm angry that every single thing that W complained about as reasons that she doesn't love me anymore have been taken away.

I'm angry that I'm living with a woman that basically acts like she hates me every moment of every day.

I'm angry that nothing changes with my M no matter what I do or what person I have become.

My greatest fear is that if separation/divorce happens, my children will be lost to me. That they will somehow choose her over me.

I no longer fear losing her.

I no longer fear being alone.

I no longer fear that I'll never find someone else to love me.

I am terrified that I will lose my kids. That they will choose her and fulfill everything that she has said.

So that's where I'm at today.

Both 40
T-22 M-18
S13
S11

Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13
EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13
EA #2-9/13/13

Moved out and Legally Separated 6/14

"Success is a journey, not a destination."