WANT TO COAST ON FLAT LAND

[job]

Take it easy and it's a good time to catch up on some reading and movies you've not been able to get to. You'll be up and about before you know it.

[Ambivalent]

Thanks Job. Actually got out to a friend's today. Not long but enough. Need my endorphins...

[makingmagic]

Hi Ambiv... its been awhile. Catching up on your thread....

Are you still 'standing' or have you moved on? Just curious.

You sound really good.

Keep it up!!

Magic

[Ambivalent]

Hi Making,

Quick synopsis... Jan came and during Epiphany, I had one! I'm moving forward, alone and with new goals.

I have gone completely dark, and am allowing him to have his affair and to be "single".

I have an attorney and there will be some paperwork, but I'm not filing for divorce. Pendente Lite.

I don't see myself married again, so why rush something and lose insurance?

I am dating, and enjoying it. I have not had sex, but have given good day kisses. It is no longer an odd feeling.

I dance and find this to be one of my greatest joys!

Almost ready for state exams... then the world is open!

I'm in a good place right now, I do cry every now and then. But never like before. I would like a companion with whom to share my passion for dancing. And yes... sex would be nice to enjoy !

I have surprised myself at how I'm now okay. Not only okay, but happy. I was always a happy person before, so it shouldn't surprise me, but for some reason it is!

I love my daughters and they will always be mine. I have NO feeling for the stranger that lives two hours away. He is someone I'd rather not know.

I have NO attraction for him, I am numb. I don't regret my marriage, for I got to have children and loved being a mom! I have met new people and the ones who have stuck by me are even more precious!

No bitterness, no anger, just pity and some sorrow. The death of a marriage is still a death.

I have a date with a man this Fri. evening. He and I have gone on a couple of dates. Text each other, and he now wants us to see more of each other.

I want someone who will share in my dancing, so that is why I have a dance date on Friday. He has chosen to pursue, and I'm choosing to be pursued! Hahaha!

We'll see where it goes, and I'll learn along the way. Still so much more for me to learn. Patience is one and confrontation is another.

[Ambivalent]

Opened myself up to someone today. I let go of expectations and just revealed. I am surprised at the response and the care which came from the person I shared my vulnerability.

I may have a new friend. Friends are good. Would like a warm full body hug though. I miss that connection.

[Ambivalent]

Aaaaw thanks Gabby,

I still cycle, and sleeping through the night is still illusive, but I'll get through those too.

I am looking forward to my date to the dance tomorrow night. I look forward to being held and lead by an incredibly gentle giant of a man. He's over 6'5" ! LOVE a large man, in more ways than one! Heh , heh, heh!

It will be nice to physically touch him and be touched by him. I never knew how tactile I really am, so I'm going to touch away tomorrow. YAY!

Don't want to wish away today, buuuuut....lol

[makingmagic]

Hi Ambiv ~~~ wow!! things sure have changed for you.

Glad to hear life is going better for you.

Im curious, don't you find it weird to be with someone else? I just don't think it would feel right for me... not just yet. Not judging...just asking.

Enjoy life ~ apparently, its short!

Hugs, Magic

[Ambivalent]

Hello Making!

Actually it was a bit strange at first. For example, both of the guys that I dated last were officers.

It is customary for them to walk on the street side and to "place" you on the inside. When I was touched and guided I was ACUTELY aware of the touch.

Same as with a stroke on the back. Dancing really has helped with that though. One is immediately touched with dancing. Arms, back, hips, hands, you have to touch to dance. It is a wonderful way to ease into someone else touching you.

I am pushing myself to accept the tactile part of being with another .

What is more odd for me? That I am so ready to date and enjoy life, myself, and others.

This is a second chance for me. I mourn the loss or the death of my marriage, but welcome the opportunity to learn more about men, myself, and relationships.

I am looking forward to tonight... and the chance to allow the man I'm dating to come into my world for a few hours!

[makingmagic]

WOW... so scary & yet exciting at the same time!! Happy for you that you are OK!!

((hugs)) Magic

[Ambivalent]

Hello Making!

Actually it was a bit strange at first. For example, both of the guys that I dated last were officers.

It is customary for them to walk on the street side and to "place" you on the inside. When I was touched and guided I was ACUTELY aware of the touch.

Same as with a stroke on the back. Dancing really has helped with that though. One is immediately touched with dancing. Arms, back, hips, hands, you have to touch to dance. It is a wonderful way to ease into someone else touching you.

I am pushing myself to accept the tactile part of being with another .

What is more odd for me? That I am so ready to date and enjoy life, myself, and others.

This is a second chance for me. I mourn the loss or the death of my marriage, but welcome the opportunity to learn more about men, myself, and relationships.

I am looking forward to tonight... and the chance to allow the man I'm dating to come into my world for a few hours!