melissa

[melissag]

Thanks, everyone. Jeez, I have been so busy I haven't had a chance to respond, but I did read everything and I appreciate the support and wisdom!

I got a few recommendations for child therapists and called one today - waiting for her to call me back. I do think it is a good idea to get both my kids in now, so that they have a relationship with the C before my H drops the bomb on them that he is not coming back in May as they expect.

I need some help with an issue that seems small, but could end up getting big, given the way my H has been behaving lately.

My D9 has a field trip coming up where she has to be dropped off at school at 6:30 a.m. It is a 4+ hour drive each way. I feel like it's over the top to have a 9 year old in the car for 8 hours in one day. And, my D9 tends to get carsick, which is pretty unpleasant for her. AND, I don't really like the idea of someone else driving my kid somewhere that far away. Oh, and did I mention the 6:30 a.m. drop off?

Her class had a similar field trip last year. I kept her home and H didn't care in the least.

I have been struggling with the question of whether I need H's agreement to keep her home from this field trip. It is on a Wednesday - usually I drop the kids off at school and pick them up on Wednesdays, and then H takes them with him after TKD. So I do think it's is "my day" with them.

So tonight H texted me and said,

Also, please don't make any decisions regarding whether D9 goes on this field trip to the internment camp without consulting with me.

I know I shouldn't assume, but let me just say that based on past and recent events, I get the feeling that he doesn't really give a sh!t one way or the other, but will use this as a way to assert some control over me, supposedly in the name of what's best for D9.

Regardless of my assumptions or lack thereof, or whatever, I am not sure what to do. How do I "consult" with my H about this? If he says he thinks she should go, and I don't want to send her, then what? Is this really a parenting decision that needs to be made jointly?? Or is it my day and therefore my call? I am not sure whether to agree that he should have some say . . . if we disagree, then what? Then I say, too bad, it's my day, I'm not sending her? How do I handle this without starting WWIII? (Other than just agreeing with my H to keep the peace, which I am not too willing to do since it results in a painful day for my D9.)

Any wisdom appreciated.