It's Time to Sing a Brand New Song

[Mimi00]

The thought of me filing has crossed my mind a few times.
I don't feel comfortable dating and still being technically married. (Not that I have been approached by anyone but old men thus far lol...but once I move I know I will there will be much more of a chance to run into people my age etc... and I just couldn't and don't want to have to tell someone I am "technically married").

But then I think that maybe that's what my H may want, for me to file so he doesn't have to spend the money.... or so then I can be the "bad guy" instead.

The last contact I had with him in January I gave him my work address b/c I knew he wouldn't send it before i move from my current address, even though I gave him the heads up that I will be leaving here at the end of March.

If he doesn't send it before I quit my job, then I won't receive it.... I am not giving him my new address, I don't want him to know where I will be living or anything about my life. If he doesn't send anything by the time I quit my job, I will send him an email and let him know to send any mail to my parents address and they will mail to me.

I changed my name on twitter, IG ... and I will soon on FB as well. I am thinking of changing my phone number too. I've had the same cell number since I was 19; I think it may be time for a change. But I don't want to exist to him and I don't want him to exist to me... I don't know if that is a strange feeling to have?

I don't know if this is weird as well, but I am thinking of going by a nick-name (and that's funny b/c I usually hate nick names/shortened names... if your name is Robert, I prefer to call you that over Rob).

When I initially thought about going by a shortened version of my real name, I was like, maybe that would be strange? But then a few days later the message at church was about how God changed Abram name to Abraham (as well as others) b/c they had a new life and a new mission. So I felt that was confirmation of my thought to "shorten" my name... plus it's much cooler & cute.

I feel like I am a new person and I have a new mission... I don't want to go back to being "mimi" in life any more or in my next relationship... I just want to be "mi" (me)...the new me.