my wife left, but still lives with me #3/continued

[tough spot]

Tonight we talked more about divorce. A follow up from a previous conversation. We discussed the financial benefits of legal separation. She needs to consult a lawyer to see if we are missing anything important.

Wasn't too painful. I wonder how it all went wrong, this marriage on the road to divorce. I have my ideas, I wonder about hers. Perhaps I will ask. Now that we are freely talking about divorce and it isn't so painful for me, she seems to be more relaxed.

I get the impression she feels like she is making progress of some sort, not stuck so much in limbo. I think that feeling was frustrating for her and add to that an almost allergic reaction to anything that was me. It literally was at a point that no matter what I did/didn't do, I think it was annoying to her.

I think she is at the point where all her problems, emotions, have me at the black center, the heart of all her issues. Like I am the overwhelming source of her problems and if she can just get rid of me then her life will be perfect.

I surmise that comes about from us living in the same house these last five months. I have given her space, lots of space, all the space I think I could have, but it isn't enough to surmount that feeling of hers.

Perhaps there is hope when the divorce or separation starts, when we have physical distance between us and limited exposure...perhaps then she will have enough space and I will in essence seem less evil.