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Question for those who linger and are working on an R,

How do you reconcile who you were with who you're?

What your relationship used to be and how you defined it and what it is now?

How do you, when you recognize behaviours as those that did not speak of love but rather fear and control, define love going forward?

Bueller??

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JuneReN Offline OP
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With who you were.....edit

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Are not were...fat fingers and auto correct, what can I say?? Lmao

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JuneReN Offline OP
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My next chapter...

H began spinning Saturday. I suggested he see our therapist individually. What came out over 72 hours of his introspection were the words " I love you. Every good thing, event, memory and safe place has you attached to it. This is very powerful for me."

But he has realized he needs to work on him for him to be a part of us.

I couldn't agree more. The reason for this post is sometimes they do figure it out and if it wasn't for DB, the mistakes and victories made by all who live this everyday, I would not be here right now and neither would my H.

In a place where he can begin to love himself and a place where I can love him whether he remains as my husband or not.

I was not like this almost two years ago. I was an insecure control freak. Not very pretty, but very true. I learned pretty quickly that the only person I could control was me and the work went on from there.

I even learned to forgive myself and after that, forgiving anyone else is a piece of cake.

Good luck on your journeys, wherever they are leading.

Ruby

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Thanks for sharing Ruby. I'm so happy for you. What a wonderful, romantic, powerful thing to say.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Ruby, I didn't realize you'd moved from the piecing forum! Had been wondering about you!

I'm glad to see you finally stand for what you want, what you deserve. We've been talking about it off and on for a long time now, and you knew the day would eventually be here. I think you handled it like a champ. Bravo lady.


M:44 W:42
M:15
S:19, D:16, S:14, D:12, S:6
BD: 2/14/11
D Final: 6/25/13
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JuneReN Offline OP
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Thanks BD. I think the therapist's words also resonated with me as she started as our MC.

She said that I had done a lot of hard work and deserved someone who could give back emotionally. Leaving unsaid that H is not capable of that at this point wink

I guess I just needed to hear it, although I've known it for a while smile

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Ruby, this is wonderful! You’ve done a lot of work. You have been always my inspiration. I learnt a lot from you. I’m also approaching 2 years from BD, and I’m grateful for this board.

Keep busting, girl. I have so much hope for you and your H.


M:50
H:52
S28 (my S from previous marriage)
M:17 + 3
BD: 06/12
S: 06/12 - H works in another state
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