Barrybran IV - Three Years Forward, 30 Years Back

[Barrybran]

I'll check it out. The communication thing is still early for me. I haven't noticed any issues with other people but it's something I'll be paying attention to. I don't know how long/what process everyone else takes but I found it took a few days initially to catch myself saying the wrong things and not listening too my wife and then another couple of weeks for me to change it into something productive.

Here's a question for you. I don't know if I've expressed it properly but since the listening argument I'm back where I started with probably a higher wall because I've had success, made a change and it hasn't stuck. The first time around I let her initiate everything and as she warmed up, I started to do things that I wanted to do, little things such as asking about her day, saying good morning/good night. Things you would say to or do for a friend basically. This time around, I have a lot more confidence that those little things are a part of who I want to be and I've kept them up rather than letting her initiate. For example, instead of letting her tell me about her day, I've instead asked her how her day was and adjusted my actions on what she does next. If she keeps it short I move on to the kids. If she elaborates I listen. I'll wish her good morning and good night regardless of what mood she appears to be in because I want to.

They are only small things but are these the kinds of things I keep up because it's who I want to be or go back to the Rules, respect my wife's space and let her initiate everything?