I came back to boards after a period aways and what I was reading from a lot of poster, prompted me to write this. I was driving up from a long weekend away in VA and I was thinking a lot about it. I was also reflecting on how grateful I am for the people here and the folks that helped me so much. So...I decided to write the post. It was a bit of a ramble...but i was hoping it would help some folks.
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Sometimes I wonder though, why are you still here?
Me too Honestly, I came back really because time allowed me to. I just finished up a very large project, which did not leave much time for me to post. I am now in a little bit of a slow period work wise, which is why you see me post more. I do believe though that I will always post, always come back. The two reasons are: 1) To give back. I recieved so much from these boards. I've made what I would say are life long friends. So I believe in giving back. The second reason is....to keep me honest. To remind myself of how blessed I am. Coming back allows me to stay the course on some level.
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My fear is that many years from now I will still be living with the painful memories of this time (after BD.) My fear is that I will never completely recover and move on.
I totally understand how you could feel this way. Recently, my fiance asked me..."how can you really believe in marriage if you are reading horror stories about divorce. Reading story that are sad". My response to her was....That is how you view it, I view it differently. I see people fighting to save marriages. Fighting for love. Growing. Healing. I see all sort of positives.
Bright - you do not have to live in fear of not healing. I believe that all you need to do is to choose to heal. To live you life making choices that move YOU forward on your own path. You only stay stuck if you choose to.
Consider the DB basic principals....
1) Healthy boundaries. 2) Better communication 3) GAL 4) "act as if" 5) Change how you look at things 6) Keep a positive outlook 7) Personal growth 8) Learning more about you so that you can be all that you can be. 9) Learning to avoid "cheese less tunnels" 10) Love and respect
These principals can be used in all facets of ones life. When used properly....they truly can change you from the INSIDE OUT.
I hope I answered all of your questions. If you more...feel free to ask. I am open book.
Peace, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans