Reaching out for support and advice 3

[bluesgal]

Hello all.

I know that I sound like a broken record, but 9 months later and I am still in shock at the person my H has become.

He was so dedicated to his family. Homework every night with the kids, family walks together, you name it. Now he's literally off the radar for several days at a time. We won't hear from him at all. No idea where he is, who he's with, if he's safe. He shows no interest in me-(seems repulsed) and minimal interest in the kids. It's so hard to have witnessed such a downward spiral and vanishing of someone so special in our lives.

It would have killed him to be without contact with his kids before. This is the guy that would call home several times a day to touch base.

I am so grateful for all of my support, but it doesn't take away the mourning for the loss of the man I once knew. I was by no means perfect in our M, but there was nothing that was a hurdle so big that we couldn't have worked through it.

How does he run from everything? Where is his mind and his heart? Will he ever return? Will he ever touch me or smile at me again?

The questions always outnumber the answers, but I'm getting along pretty well overall.

Goodbye my H, I am putting our M in Gods hands.